Your Shadow
by Sara Jaye
Summary: A story about one of the lesserrecognized characters. Rokou reflects on his relationship with his brother.


"Your Shadow"  
by Sara Jaye  
  
  
This is about one of the really lesser Fushigi Yuugi characters:   
Rokou Chou, older brother of Nuriko. ^_^ He just seems like this cool,   
introspective, sensitive, angsty character...he really loved his brother   
and sister. ;_;  
  
[Fushigi Yuugi belongs to Watase Yuu, I'm just borrowing the characters   
for awhile...at least one of em. Angst, references to death, minor   
spoilers. Don't like, don't read.]  
  
  
~  
  
  
I love you, otouto. I really do.  
  
But I'm so tired of always being in your shadow.  
  
I don't understand. I'm the oldest, yet you were always the one protecting   
me. Because I was so weak, I cried too easily when the other children   
picked on me. It was sad, really. The oldest of 3 children and I needed   
protection from my little brother as if I was really the younger one.  
  
You were always so strong, Ryuenn. In so many ways. No wonder you were so   
admired.  
  
Especially by Kourin.  
  
The two of you were inseperable, even though you were only a year apart.   
It was like you were twins...so often you'd run off to play and leave me   
behind, forgetting I was even there.  
  
It hurt so much thinking my own little siblings didn't want me around.  
  
Can't say I blame you, though. Who would want to be with me? Everyone knew   
I was weak, the sad role reversal in our family was so obvious.  
  
I wish I could've been as strong as you, Ryuenn. You never crumbled over   
anything...  
  
Until the day Kourin died.  
  
You were never the same after that, otouto. You wouldn't accept it, in   
fact, you insisted she was still alive...  
  
And that Ryuenn was dead.  
  
I remember the first time you walked into the room wearing her clothes.   
Mother and Father were so angry with you. They insisted you take them off,   
and when you refused, they took them off for you. But you refused to give   
up. You wore her clothes, styled your hair just like her's...it drove them   
crazy.  
  
The other children turned on you, too. They'd see you in the soft, silky   
dresses and laugh, saying you were a freak.  
  
I hated to see you like this! You were obviously miserable. I wanted to   
defend you against them, against our parents.  
  
But I never said anything. I was selfish, for once, I wasn't the one being   
bullied or talked about. It felt so gratifying not to be "the troubled   
child" anymore, I didn't want to give up this bit of satisfaction.  
  
If only I had! If only I'd said something, stood up to our parents...if   
only I hadn't been so selfish. If I'd just been there for you, you'd never   
have left home.  
  
And you would still be alive.  
  
I couldn't believe it when I learned of your death, Ryuenn...our parents   
had died not long ago, Kourin's been dead for years...now you.  
  
And even in death, you still overshadow me. It wasn't Chou Ryuenn who had   
died, it was Suzaku Seishi Nuriko. The strongest of Konan's celestial   
warriors, protector of legendary Suzaku no Miko.  
  
Here I am once again. Just "Ryuenn's brother"-no, "Nuriko's brother". I'll   
never be anything more, it seems.  
  
But you know something, otouto?  
  
I wouldn't have it any other way.  
  
I envy you greatly, sometimes so much it hurts. But the fact is, I'm proud   
of you, Ryuenn. I always have been, and always will be.  
  
Sleep well, otouto. You've done a great thing for your kingdom and your   
priestess. She and your fellow Seishi were fortunate to have you with them   
as long as they did.  
  
I love you, otouto. I'm proud to be in your shadow.  
  
  
~End~  
  
  
Yes, yet another 'Rokou thinks about Nuriko's death' fic. I know,   
these have been done before. But sometimes, when you're writing about a   
character or series for the first time, it's easiest to stick with an   
often-used plot. ^^; But don't worry-I do want to write more about   
Rokou-san, so I'll be coming up with more original stuff...and hopefully   
actually WRITING it. ^_^; 


End file.
